I keep dreaming about food.
Shopping for food.
Realizing I can’t eat a certain food.
Over the past three days, I’ve been having vivid dreams related to what I can and cannot eat. And while I do not remember them all, I know they are often loaded with frustration. For example, last night I was dreaming about lunch. I’m going about my regular day and lunch is approaching. In this particular circumstance, I did not bring a lunch with me. I’m quite hungry. I go about trying to find options that work within my elimination diet – I’m sure you see where this is going – and struggle to find anything. A few times, I line up at a nearby popular lunch spot thinking for certain this place will have something I can eat, and when I get to the front and view all the delicious-looking food, I realize I can’t have any of it. I repeat this process with another venue and continue the futile exercise of waiting in line, hopeful, only to have my dreams crushed again and again. I stare longingly at the food, wishing I could eat it.
One that sticks out is a sandwich-like option, but instead of regular bread, the sandwich was on a flaky, airy pastry sprinkled lightly with sugar. I stare at it through the glass case. My mouth waters. For a moment I am convinced I will get to enjoy this food until I snap out of the trance and remember, “You cannot eat that. It has gluten, dairy and sugar”.
As you can imagine, I never do eat in this dream. I just keep wandering from location to location becoming increasingly desperate and disappointed.
Sounds bleak? Well, yes, I think so. But, while I acknowledge my subconscious is actively bringing up my frustrations and insecurities, when I’m awake, things don’t feel so dire.
So far, I’ve had no issues finding appropriate, and tasty, meals and snacks. In fact, so far I’ve felt like I’ve had a number of options. I suppose the exception is dinner since I do feel a little nervous about running low on ideas. However, I know that with some planning, I’ll be just fine. And, hopefully, the dreams will fade as I teach my subconscious it’s not so bad.